Gutsy Tips For Working Moms Besides Picking A Partner Who Makes Margs

Gutsy Tips For Working Moms Besides Picking A Partner Who Makes Margs During the years my kids were little, my husband worked nights as a TV news anchor. That meant this working mom welches on her own in the evenings, and things could get, well, a little crazy. One night, I rushed home at 5 p.m. to give my baby son, Hunter, hugs and kisses, paw through the fridge and then bundle him up so we could make an emergency grocery run. As we headed toward the elevator, Hunter gave me a funny, quizzical look, something I hadnt really seen from him yet.Whats up?I wondered. Then I glanced into the decorative mirror in the hall and discovered what was puzzling the little guyin my frenetic state Id accidentally placed his tiny knit cap onmyhead.As youre well aware, being a working mom can be challenging and exhausting at times, but I never once regretted going down that road. I loved running magazinesI was editor-in-chief of 5, including Cosmopolitanfor 14 yearsand my kids, now 22 and 25, seem to have really benefited from the fact that I worked. Plus, over time I got better at it. I learned good strategies, some from trial and error and some from watching other moms pull them off. Here are some of my favoritesSet your own boundaries.No one will ever look at their watch in a meeting and tell you, Oh my god, its 530. Dont you have to get home to your kids? You need to take the bull by the horn and train people to recognize that you generally leave work at a reasonable hour, you dont spend your evenings on your smartphone, andyou still do a terrific job.Sure, you have to take your workplace culture into consideration and you dont want to do anything that undermines your bosss confidence in you. But you also have to do whats right for you as a mom. Work smart and efficiently. Do mora than what youre told to do. Go big with your ideas. But also set the boundaries you want to set and dont be intimidated by snarky comments from co-workers.That said, also be flexible. Periodically throw everybody a curve ballstay late, for instance, or come in on a Saturday. That shows youre willing to put in even mora when its absolutely necessary. Of course, if you sense irritation from your boss about your boundaries, you need to have a conversation.Go ahead, ask for it.One of the most important messages in my book is that women have to ask for what they want. We often dont ask because were afraid theyll say noand be mad at us for asking. But the squeaky wheel definitely gets the grease. Wish you could work at home one day a week or job share with another mom? Ask. If youre a strong performer, it wont hurt you. Just remember Dont make your ask about simply taking care of your own needs (I want to spend more time with my baby) you want to show you have your bosss needs in mind, too. (Working at home one day a week, and not having to worry about the commute, will help me be more creative and productive.)Be a just-in-time mother.This is a great trick I learned from Judsen Cu lbreth, one of my oldest friends and one-time editor-in-chief ofWorking Mother.When you first walk in the door at home or pick up your kid at day care, squash the urge to brush your teeth or sort through the mail and deal instead with the needs of your child right then and thereto show you something he made at school, for instance, or to have you get down the old box of Legos. Addressing a little thing nowinstead of saying, In a couple of minutes sweetie, okay?can buy you lots of calm later. Because its probably not about the Legos anyway.Make your kids your little interns.My mom was the school librarian, and sometimes on holidays shed bring me to the empty building with her to help on little projects, including decorating the display windows. I loved doing that, so I started bringing my own kids to work when they were about 5 or 6. By the time I got toCosmo,my daughter was 10 and my son 12. I had them make lists of women who should be on the cover and edit cover shots with meas kid s, their instincts were fresh and unadulterated. My daughter even helped me come up with a column idea. But I should point out that they never wrote the cover linesStudy other mothers.Other moms can be a great source of info. I always tried to pump them for fresh and easy ways of doing things. When I complained to my friend Judsen that I hated the fact that my new son had to go to bed just two hours after I arrived home from work, she said, Theres no rule that says babies have to be in bed at 730, you know. So I started putting him to bed at 930 until he started schooland he took monster naps during the day.But dont worry about what other moms think.As wonderfully supportive and helpful as other mothers can be, they can also be critical and judgmental. A professional acquaintance who is a Hollywood werber is one of the only working moms at her kids school. One day a parents group gave out awards, and this is the prize she was given Fastest Drop Off. Pretty bitchy, right? Just ignore attitude like that. And remember the words of Madeleine Albright Theres a place in hell reserved for women who dont help other women.--Kate White, the former editor-in-chief ofCosmopolitan,is theNew York Timesbestselling author of fiction and nonfiction, including herBailey Wigginsmystery books andGutsy Girlbooks. Her latest isI Shouldnt Be Telling You This Success Secrets Every Gutsy Girl Should Know,on sale now.--This article was originally published on Working Mother.Fairygodboss is committed to improving the workplace and lives of women.Join us by reviewing your employer